Sunday, 18 December 2016

Low Self-Esteem | Picking Yourself Back Up

It's currently 11:43pm as I begin to write.

Today has been one of those days whereby doing the most minute tasks have been the most challenging. I slept in til 12pm (those that know me, know this isn't normal for me) and when I finally dragged myself to the gym I gave up after 45 minutes and drove back home to get straight into bed and here we are...

People often say to me I'm a confident person and would never think of me having low self esteem or thinking I would have days like this but I do, and when I do, it hits me hard. 

Often something someone says or does, no matter how insignificant it may be, can set this off or it can just spring upon me out of nowhere. Both of which are equally as frustrating and hard to get over at times.

I love going to the gym, I never need to be persuaded to go, more often than not I'm counting down the minutes at work til I can get my booty pump on. However, just being able to get to the gym in the first place today was a big accomplishment, even if I did give up and consequently make myself feel even worse. 

Everyone can suffer from low self-esteem at times and this is the way in which it affects me. I don't want to get out of bed and when I finally do, I can't wait to get back in again. I starve myself all day only to pig out at night and hate myself for it. I lay in bed and think over every little thing in my life and how I am as a person, all the bad and never the good. I'm moody, I cry, I look a state and as much as I want to spend time with people, I never do. Sometimes days like this can happen very frequently or they can be few and far between.

As crazy as I probably sound from saying all this, I know deep down I have to snap myself out of these moods or else I could be like this for days on end. A starting point is writing this post in the first place (I did warn you I love to ramble). I also make a to-do list for the following day to make sure I get my ass out of bed and out of the house. I ensure I have 'pamper time' for myself too even if that just means shoving a face mask on for 10 minutes or going for a drive singing to my favourite songs for half hour. 

It's shitty and hard when you suffer from low self-esteem or just have down days in general, everyone gets them, everyone deals with them in different ways but the most important thing to do is to snap yourself out of it (you're allowed one day of being sad then it's back to being badass), pick yourself up and do the things that make you happiest in order to make yourself feel better and get back on track.

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